I will climb up into my watchtower now and wait to see what the LORD will say to me and how he will answer.
Then the LORD said to me, “Write my answer in large, clear letters on a tablet, so that a runner can read it and tell everyone else.
But these things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed. Habakkuk2:1-3
Over the past 10 months I have gone through a journey of recovery and the Lord has pulled up roots of rejection and abandonment. The Lord is preparing me to be a Proverbs 31 woman….a woman who wants to leave a different legacy than what has been passed down. Most recently the Lord has been giving me visions and in these visions he shows me losing my temper with someone because I had been in a situation where the other person was being very inconsiderate. I remember in the vision that I felt entitlement, however, I was embarrassed for losing my temper. In this vision I was at my grandfather’s house. Symbolically when one is at a grandparent’s house, the Lord is showing where a tradition, learned behavior or even where a generational curse is. I learned from the vision that I could have been right in my entitlement but I could have responded totally different. I was in the word last night and I received this passage in Habakkuk like always when the Lord is going to give me divine revelation. I had yet another vision where I was with someone and they were doing things that irritated me and I pointed out what I hated to them. I believe in life people are always going to irritate us because of our differences but what I was taking from this was God pointing out something in me. I woke up this morning realizing that on one side of my family is a lot of passive aggression and on that side, my grandparents are still married, but one spouse had just settled in and became reconciled to stay with the other. They are both still alive, but I know that they are very unhappy. The same is true with one of my parents. Their marriage is just like their parent’s marriage. One spouse is just reconciled to be with them and they are miserable. I am striving to have healthy relationships and want to leave a legacy of life. In order to do that, God is revealing to me that I cannot continue those same patterns of griping, complaining, strife and manipulation through anger. Once I got that download from God today I prayed because this was the way I was raised, it was a way of relational interaction and to get what you wanted. My prayer is for God to help me and to give me wisdom and to remove the selfishness and pride from me, so I can put someone’s emotional and physical needs before mine and trust God that He will meet mine. Another thing I heard this week to add to all this is ‘don’t compete with your spouse because the relationship is not a competition, but rather give up the competition which could be your fight to be right, actually fight for the relationship instead of against each other and the relationship wins rather than 1 person having to win’.
Pray with me: Lord Jesus thank you so much for revealing the character defects and thank you so much that you have begun a good work in me and you will perfect that work. I pray for relationships that will give you glory and let it start with me…help me be a better friend, sister, aunt, daughter, employee and ultimately wife. I cannot do this without you and please give me wisdom where it is lacking and help me give mercy and forgiveness when it is needed. Help me to give up being right, you said that when my actions are pleasing you, that you will cause my enemies to be at peace with me. Help me to be patient as your word says in Habakkuk and not to get weary in well doing. In Jesus name Amen.