I will give praise to you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139
I knew that I could not accept compliments and I did not like my picture taken but did not think much about it. I discovered in recovery I was a self loather. I literally wanted to surgically alter my appearance from the top of my head and everything in between and down to my feet. I wanted to make myself fit into my image. I was insecure and someone I cared deeply for at one time wanted me to darken my hair, have super white teeth and he wanted me to have a tan. That bothered me and only fueled my insecurity and I did not feel accepted by this person. I knew this was his “type”. I am glad today that I never pleased him. David writes in our Psalm that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Fearfully and wonderfully in Hebrew mean awesome and distinct. I do not think it is acceptable for anyone to try and change another. There is nothing wrong with changing your hair color and laying out in the sun, it’s the motive behind it. The message is you must look like this for me to be attracted to you or to accept you. We should never feel the need to fit into someone’s type or be a carbon copy of everyone in their past. I am glad I did not look like all the others because I, as well as you, were created with our own awesomeness and our own God given distinction according to Psalm 139.
How did I find healing and acceptance? It started with my feet. That’s right my feet. God kept leading me to Isaiah 52 – how lovely on the mountains are the feet of him who bring the good news. I hated my feet but realized that my feet carried the good news and I began to embrace my feet by believing that if my feet had a purpose to carry the good news and God says they are lovely – then my feet had a unique purpose and their shape was unique on purpose . Just by starting to embrace my feet, I began to accept all of me. Now I get to encourage those who have confidence and identity issues! The same is true for you – you are awesome and distinct on purpose and someone will see you through the eyes of God and accept you – but you must first accept yourself. I am grateful that I am not like the others. :))))
Pray with me: Heavenly Father thank you that you made me awesome and distinct and that you formed me in my mother’s womb and you are satisfied. Help me to overcome the obstacles that have kept me from seeing myself through your eyes and seeing myself as valuable. Help me to forgive those who have not treasured my value. My hope and confidence comes from you only. In Jesus name. Amen.