25 Mar

In hope against hope he believed, so that he might become a father of many nations according to that which had been spoken, “SO SHALL YOUR DESCENDANTS BE. Romans 4:18

For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees?
But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it
. Romans 8:24

Hope = is the state which promotes the belief in an outcome related to events and circumstances in one’s life. Despair is often regarded as the opposite of hope.[1] Hope is the “feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best” or the act of “look[ing] forward to something with desire and reasonable confidence” or “feel[ing] that something desired may happen”.[2] Other definitions are “to cherish a desire with anticipation”; “to desire with expectation of obtainment”; or “to expect with confidence”.

In Romans the writer is speaking of Abraham. God spoke to him while he was well advanced in years that he would be a father of many nations. That would be impossible with man because his wife was well advanced in years as well. God spoke a promise to Abraham, in order to get Abraham’s thinking to line up with God’s promise coming to fruition, he changed his name, he changed his confession. His name was Abram and God changed it to Abraham which means ‘father of many nations’. Names were significant back then and so we must assume as he is introducing himself to people that he met or if he was correcting people that he knew that his name is Abraham, it’s the same as saying Hello, I am a father of many nations. He must have been ridiculed, perhaps been called crazy or your loins are dried up you old geezer! It had to be embarrassing and hard for Abraham, but the word says that he hoped against all hope, he hoped against what others said. Approximately 20 years passed, and even trying to do things man’s way, he still conceieved a child with Sari, Issac, which means promise. Abraham’s hope, his literal expectancy became a promise.

I have so many stories of hope, but my hope began one Sunday afternoon when I had no hope. I had spent two years in a bedroom, not driving a car, having no friends, not being able to walk outside to get the newspaper from the yard, never being able to stay home alone, never going shopping as I loved to buy new clothes or shoes, driving myself to the doctor and going to church, having to quit my job and become dependant on my parents at 36 years of age. Wondering if I would ever be able to date again and not be afraid, or to go in public without fear that someone would rob or kidnap me, or to be able to allow a friend to fix me something to drink without me being afaid that they would poison me. To sleep without night mares and with the lights on, oh I so wanted to sleep in the dark. It’s been two years and I don’t see any way out of this prison.

That Sunday afternoon I have come to embrace as a very special day, even though it was my darkest. I was looking out the window thinking how could I kill myself and not survive. I am hopeless, I can’t imagine my life any different or getting better. I thought I would be here a month and now its 2 years. As I am contemplating the best way to kill myself so I don’t have to remain in this world as I am, a woman screamed at the top of her lungs, all things are possible with God!! I turned and looked at a beautiful black female preacher and I looked at the clock on my tv and realized it was the last few minutes of this particular show!… that was for me, but I was still unsure about a God. So I knelt down and I began to logically talk to a God that I was not sure existed…….I know how psychology works and if I think on something positive, I can attract the positive…….so, I have nothing to lose by believing in you and everything to gain if you are real. That prayer had no expectation because I was still borderline hopeless…I thought the prayer kept me alive for another hour, or day, perhaps another week. God began to supernaturally give my life back to me, at the time I did not know to expect, because I was still trying to make logical sense of everything. But God gave my life back to me, everything that I had lost……..I was still emotionally crippled……..he taught me to Hope and to expect and to truly believe that all things are possible with him…….I am still overcoming obstacles from the things that had imprisoned me. I had to have hope in order to commit to a step study that was dedicated to my crime and thank God for that hope because the worst did not happen and I have grown and it encourages me to work hard in the place that I am.

You are going to have to take the position that I had that Sunday afternoon……I’ve heard that all things are possible, and in my child like surrender…..i am taking a chance and believing in you………lord, I have heard the stories and I listened to the testimonies of hope and victory, i cannot see myself ever stopping this one thing, if you love me why did you not intervene, why did you give my parents to me, i feel so ashamed and i am afraid that people are going to judge me, lord do you see i am not getting any younger, afterall, my birthday is in 3 months, how could you let him leave, can i ever manage my emotions? NEVERTHELESS, i have nothing to lose by believing……. teach me to hope, teach me to confess with what lines up with your promise, help me to expect no matter how hard i have to work, how long it takes, you give me the power to change to birth my Issac, your promise! I put my hope in you.

Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to him, and that he has given me the power to overcome.

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Posted by on March 25, 2013 in Uncategorized


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