01 Apr

For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. Philippians 2:13

Insanity is described as doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result each time. The definition of sanity is wholeness of mind; making decisions based on the truth. How do we cyle in insanity?

It is entirely possible for us to believe a lie, however, that lie is truth to us. If sanity is basing decision on the truth, then if we are believing a lie, which is our truth and we make decisions based on that lie, that creates insanity in our lives. Let me help you.

I discovered in recovery that I was a self loather. To loathe = Feel intense dislike or disgust for. detest – abhor – abominate – means to hate or have intense aversion.

I could say that I hated myself. I wanted to change everything about me and I was in a dangerous place of constantly coveting and comparing myself to others. When I say that I wanted to change everything about me, literally means that I wanted to pay a surgeon to alter most everything about me…..I wanted about 5 procedures done from the top of my head to my chin alone. I wanted straight narrow hips and I wanted to have my hips broken……what if a quack was willing to do that for me? Can you imagine the constant pain I would be in for the rest of my life, or perhaps the limp I would have, IF I could even walk again??? That is insanity!!!

What were the consequences and decisions made based on my truth (lie)? I had no respect for myself, I did not see myself valuable. I did not care how I treated myself and I did not care how you treated me. I would allow you to abuse me and I would take responsibility for it. I had a low self esteem. I had unhealthy relationships and friendships. I did not like my picture taken because I could not stand to look at myself. I was self destructive by doing drugs and unconsciencely trying to kill myself. I never had high goals or aspirations for myself, because I felt that I was not worthy or could not accomplish them. These are just a few to make my point. My own personal truth affected my life everyday, I lived in a cycle of insanity.

But thank goodness for Celebrate Recovery. It’s a place where God and truth collide. God has brought sanity to my life. First by convincing me of how much he loves me. Second, by giving me His truth for me. What is his truth……revealing the root issue and where the lies began. The root was a very critical person in my life as a child which molded my thought processes and I began to think like that person as it related to me. His truth is that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139)– in the hebrew those words mean awesome and distinct. Through my feet which I hated too, I learned to embrace them, but also began my jorney of embracing myself. The Lord would give me Isaiah 44 – how lovely on the mountains are the FEET of him who bring the good news. God says my feet are lovely and I began to see them lovely too.

God’s word says that in Romans 12:2 — that we are not to be conformed to the patterns of this world, but we are to be transformed by the renewing of our mind. The world sets standards for what is beautiful, but God says that we do not conform or adopt the standards of the world…….we have to change our thinking. That is what God has done for me today. He has renewed my mind with His love and with his word. I literally prayed that God would show me as He sees me. Oh how he loves prayers like that — I believe he responded with a smile and replied, I would love to, thank you so much for asking.

What things do you do over and again expecting for change or for different results? What lies are you believing that have become truth to you? Reach out to your Heavenly Father and ask him to reveal any lies that you are believing that are affecting the decisions that you are making that create insantity in your life.

Pray with me: Dear God, I have tried to fix and control my life’s hurts, hang ups and habits all by myself. I admit that by myself, I am powerless to change. I need to begin to believe and receive your power to help me recover. You loved me enough to send your Son to the cross to die for my sins. Help me be open to the hope that I can only find in Him. Please help me to start living my life one day at a time. In Jesus’ name, AMEN!

Leave a comment

Posted by on April 1, 2013 in Uncategorized


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: