19 Apr

Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him to help you do it and he will. Psalm 37:5

How do we get unstuck? How do we get past the barriers of pride, fear, guilt, worry and doubt that keep us from taking this step? We need to take action.

After I was kidnapped I was bound to my parent’s home and their care for two long years. As you know, God began to restore my life back to me, but even though I moved away from home and gained my independence back, I was still very emotionally dependant on my parents. I would become frightened a lot of the time and it was not uncommon that I called my parents all times of the day or night. They were the only safe people that I had in my life. I could not let myself fully trust another person. One day I got a call from my parents and I was not expecting the news they were about to give me. They told me that they were moving to our ranch, which is about 3 hours away. I was devasted and I cried. I was terrified and I thought something bad would happen to me and they would not be able to rush to my rescue. I felt that I needed them and that I could not be separated with that distance between us. Over time I became more and more upset at the thought of them moving and one night the Lord gave me a vision and he basically implied that I was being selfish. I woke up the next morning and of course I was very upset and I was upset both by my parents leaving and also for the thought of being selfish. Who was I to dictate the plan that God had for them. I repented and asked for forgiveness. I also had to take action with my faith that day that God knew what He was doing that He was perfectly capable of taking care of me. How could I doubt and be in fear afterall the miracles I had received. God had spoken through a woman on TV when I was contemplating suicide, she screamed with urgency that Nothing was impossible with God. He provided a miracle with the provision of my counseling, he sent someone to counsel me at a hospital that was at the end of street, back then I could not drive, nor could I be out of my parent’s sight for more than a few minutes. I did not earn a lot of money back then because I could not function in society and God provided income from the state for my counseling. It was one miracle after another. How could I not trust God with my safety? At some point during this, God gave me a beautiful scripture, Psalm 91 — I quote this scripture every night before I go to bed. ‘I do not have to fear the terror of the night or the arrow that flies by day, I do not have to fear the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the destruction that lies waste in the noonday, a thousand may fall at my side and ten thousand at my right hand, but it shall not approach me’.

There were many nights that I was afraid and could not sleep and I would just quote this scripture over and over until I fell asleep. The word began to take root in my heart. As I put my faith into action and began to believe God could take care of me. I realized that God had to move my parents, it was like cutting an ambilical cord, I needed to receive life on my own through God. My dependence on my parents was unhealthy for me. Also, I realized that God had amazing plans for my parents. Both of my parents are gifted evangelists and the small town that they moved to needed the refreshment and light that they brought. My parents started a restaurant and it is solely dedicated as a ministry. People think they are coming to eat great food, but they have divine encounters with Jesus as my parents are the hands extended of Him. How selfish of me to hold my parents back from being able to give to others that are in need.

Today, I am in a much better place as I have learned to allow God to take care of me. It was one of the scariest things that I had faced during my recovery, but I am so thankful that I took action by releasing it to God. My action was taking the step to blindly trust that he is capable and nothing is too difficult for him.

One of the things that I used to do when I was still living with my parents, I used to sit outside every night and watch the sunset. It was how I connected with God and I used to say to him, that if he was big enough to create the universe and hold the stars in their place, then my small problem should be easy for him. That is what I do today, when I am missing my parents or having a rough time emotionally, I still go outside and sit and just look at the sky, I talk to God about my small problem as I am measuring to the vast expanse of the sky, stars and moon. Then I am able to put things in His perspective of what I am giong through. Just as God has cared for me and provided miracle provision, either with money or the empowerment to carry out every step of my journey. The same is true for you, no matter what you are facing. Ask God to show you what is the barrier that is keeping you from taking this action to turn it over to him. Could it be fear, pride, worry, guilt, anger, addiction, abuse, bad decision, missed opportunities, to name a few. Trust him and he will help you do it.

Leave a comment

Posted by on April 19, 2013 in Uncategorized


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: