Get rid of all bitterness, passion and anger. No more shouting or insults. No more hateful feelings of any sort. Ephesians 4:31
Last week I gave you an outline for you to begin your inventory. That is the center piece of inventory and you should be adding more and more to that as God is revealing specific individuals to inventory along with the situations and emotions associated with them.
Inventory is a lifestyle for me now. I have been in recovery since 2009 and I still get revelations of my past hurts, the damage and how it is affected me. Also, I inventory present situations. Inventory is ongoing, because recovery gives me new coping methods so that way I don’t run back to an old habit.
Let me give you an example of something present. I mentor a teenager and we get together a lot. About a week ago we talked about her up coming graduation. She has a mommy abandonment and rejection wound and she lives with her father. She did not know if she should invite her mother to her graduation or not. She said if I don’t invite her then she will be mad even though she most like will not come. I told her to take the high road and invite her and let her mother make the decision whether she comes or not. As you can imagine the worst happened. Her mother declined to come and it upset her so much. For days she could not get over it, she was acting out by laying in her bed all day, being ugly to those around her and starting fights and crying. She is like me and has a hard time with acknowledging her emotions. I told her that she needed to inventory that whole event. I walked her through how to write it all down and then reach out to God — God is the ONLY one who can heal our wounds — Lord that hurts me so much, all I want is to be accepted by her and why am I not enough?! I just want her to be proud of me! Why does she love my brother and sister more?! Give that to God and ask him to reach deep into your soul and heal that hurt along with the emotions and actions associated with that hurt. Then always ask God to replace what he has removed with his love, grace, mercy, forgiveness and acceptance. The one lie we believe ‘time heals all wounds’ most of the time we fester and get more and more upset OR we stuff it down and those emotions come out some place else in our lives. Each step of the way, ask God to heal and to replace what he has removed.
This week I am giving you some things to write about. This will help you with your inventory. Set aside quiet time and pray. God knows everything about you and your past, ask him to help you as you reflect on your past and for him to bring to the surface what needs to be dealt with. Remember, being honest is crucial. Facing the truth, no matter how ugly it is, because it’s the truth about you (not someone else) that is going to set you free. This is YOUR recovery.
1. Who has hurt you? How did they specifically hurt you? Go back as far as you can.
2. Who are you holding a grudge against?
3. Who are you jealous of? why?
4. Who have you hurt? How did you hurt them?
5. Who have you been critical of or gossiped about? Why?
6. How have you attempted to place the blame on someone else? Be specific?
7. What areas of your life have you been able to turn over to your Higher Power, Jesus?
8. What areas of your life are you still not putting God first?
9. What in your past is keeping you from seeking God’s will for your life?
10. What are your personal goals for the next 90 days?
11. What areas in your life are you thankful for?
12. In your past, what things have you been ungrateful for?
13. What causes you to lose your temper?
14. What in your past are you still worried about?
15. How have you exaggerated to make yourself look good?
16. Does your walk as a Christian match your talk? Are your actions the same at church vs. home vs. work?
17. In what areas of your life have you used false humility to impress someone?
18. What areas have you been dishonest?
Don’t quit and give up, push through the pain. Just like working out, you cannot grow without resistance and pain. I know several people who compete in Iron Man competitions — talk about pain!! After an event the euphoria so great and you gain this confidence that you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. Think of your recovery like that — and once you begin to see a progression of change you get encouraged to keep going, just like someone who is trying to lose weight, they lose a couple of pounds and they are excited and it gives them the motivation to push towards their goal — why because they see results, their hard work is paying off!!!
I am praying and believing the best years of your life are yet to come !!!