Col 3:17 Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father. Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.
I have not yet had the opportunity to be in a godly marriage, yet I believe I am being prepared for one. I got a revelation about a month ago that I am in this situation at work so I may learn lessons of what a marriage should and should not look like. I am in sales and everyone has a teammate. I am the only one in my department that has a male teammate. It’s irrelevant that I am his manager, The lesson is way more important. A few weeks ago he and I got into conflict because I gave him a direction and he disrespected me. We are responsible for putting our daily projections out on my whiteboard every single day and it has to be by a specific time. I respect my authority and I do my very best to carry those directions out every single day. I asked my teammate for his projections and he said he didn’t have them. I was upset and I just went ahead and put my numbers out on the board and left his out. There was tension between us for the next couple of days. My manager said to both of us, that we need to work out whatever conflict we had because our numbers began dropping. I began to understand how God wanted me to see a married couple. When they are not in one accord and when they are not in unity that the things in their life will suffer and will stop prospering. In other words the relationship will greatly suffer.
He and I got off by ourselves and we apologized to one another and agreed it was of course a misunderstanding. We also touched hands and agreed to get back into one accord. And guess what, our numbers began to go up again. This is not necessarily a picture of money but I hope you get the jest of what I’m trying to get convey.
I got my second lesson yesterday. The day before we were told that during our daily meetings that our manager was going to check our accounts to make sure that there were updated notes and if there were no notes that that would be a write up. We were told that we would be written up as a team if one of our team members lacked this discipline. I made sure and told my teammate three times to make sure he had notes in all his accounts. He said he had me covered and he would take care of it. I’m sure you can see where this is going. We had our individual team meeting with our manager yesterday and my manager noticed one of his accounts without notes. Of course we got written up as a team. As you can imagine I would be upset. However, i remembered something that I read in the book called Marriage on the Rock by Jimmy Evans. There was something that stuck out where he was explaining that we all make mistakes and he spoke specifically to wives to give your husband grace and mercy and allow them to fail. My teammate immediately apologized and he even asked if he could be written up individually. I reminded him that she said the team would be written up. He apologized again and he said ‘it will never happen again’.
How could I not give him grace? I told him that I was just as capable of making mistakes and that I may need his grace in the future. What helped me give him grace was his humility by apologizing and saying it would never happen again. As a woman our number one need is to feel safe and his response gave me that safety — I believed him.
I was raised to be independent and I am having to learn God’s way for me. I have to trust Him with whoever He brings in my life that He knows best for me. As I trust God and come under His authority knowing He has chosen a God fearing man for me , that this man is accountable directly to God for his decisions for our family. I have to trust God and come under that authority knowing that even if my husband makes an unwise choice that I am still under God’s protection and covering. I trust He will make all things right. My job is to be the help mate that I was created to be which is to support and give wisdom. If he chooses differently, my job is to pray for Him knowing that God is capable of speaking to my husband. That is what our submission looks like, not a door mat that most women fear.
Are you struggling with submission? Could you be fearful because of authority hurting you? Do you find that your marriage is struggling? If so, please pray and ask God to resource you so you can gain the wisdom of God for your marriage. I believe it’s important to attend marriage conferences and do bible studies to help equip your marriage. You often hear how much preparation goes into a wedding, however no one prepares to be married.