What if you were for sale, how much would you be worth? What if you saw yourself as a market asset, what would be the highest price that a buyer would offer? That question could be answered by going back at least 5 to 7 years of your employment. How well did you perform? How flexible were you? Were you a team player? Were you terminated from any recent position?
Initially you are hired because of what you know, but you will get fired for who you are. A Harvard study released information that 95% of senior leaders and their success is all based on their Emotional Intelligence. I was once let go from an organization. I was the top earner and top producer, in fact, depending on the individual, I was outperforming my colleagues by as much as three times their production. I did something one day out of the ordinary for me, I missed a very important meeting and I was fired. My ability to outsell my colleagues was not enough to give me security or to completely build my value with my employer.
One of the 5 constructs of Emotional Intelligence is self regulation. How would have self regulation kept me from getting fired? We always had Monday morning meetings and I had appointments from time to time that would be scheduled during that time. My employer expressed that my meetings with customers were important, however, they preferred I scheduled them around our morning meeting. So you can imagine how mad my manager was when I forgot a Monday morning meeting?! It was the last straw. I could have been more diligent in this area and esteeming what was important to my manager by rescheduling my customers. It was a small thing, but very big to my manager. I would not suggest another time when my customer offered to meet on Mondays, for fear that I would miss that opportunity. Fear was my issue.
We have 7 basic emotions. Love, fear, anger, hate, joy, sadness and envy. Why is self regulation so key? If you will notice, 5 of those emotions are negative! Also, when I am faced with something negative, I default to my limbic system which keeps me in my emotions, rather than being logical. These negative emotions will keep you in a place where you operate in a deficiency and therefore impact your value to a corporation. Why? Because you will not make good decisions and you will negatively affect others.
Your self awareness will help in this exercise of self regulation. When I am faced with a problem and I immediately feel anger. I know that anger is a relative of fear…..so I ask myself, what am I afraid of? When you are able to answer the question, you can see your problem more logically and hopefully make a better decision. If I am afraid, what do I believe? In my situation, I made decisions out of fear. I believed that if I did not accept a Monday meeting with a customer, that I would miss the opportunity completely. If I would have said that does not work for me, can you suggest another time? That is more reasonable. I still have a hard time accepting that fear cost me my job. It happens all the time, as I mentioned, an employer will fire someone for who they are. It’s understanding your deficiencies and improving them — that is how you increase your fair market value.
Emotional Intelligence transcends the market place, in fact, it’s crucial for every part of our life because we are in all types of relationships and always making decisions. There is a reason why Corporate America spends millions of dollars on personality profiling……..what are you doing with the results? The truth is, no one helps with improvement. And therefore, few changes are ever made. That is why I am so grateful that I get the opportunity to take EI to the necessary next step.
In what areas are you lacking self regulation?
If you are experiencing any negative emotions, what are you believing about your situation?
How can you turn a lie you are believing into a truth?