Those who sow with tears, will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy.
Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her. There I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she will sing as in the days of her youth.
I posted earlier this year that ‘I was a happy girl’. Ever since I have posted that, the enemy has tried to do everything he could to make me unhappy. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t cry at least once.
The sadness and the stress is clearly evident on my face. I don’t even recognize who I am when I look in the mirror. Not only do I not recognize myself physically, but I haven’t recognized myself spiritually.
I have become very weak, vulnerable and susceptible to attacks. I have found myself helpless and unable to withstand attacks and have lost the energy to fight back. I’ve been so deep in my sorrow that I’ve even forgotten how to fight the good fight. I have been devastated from all of the loss in my life and there’s been times I felt like I was going to die. Because of this fear of my own death, I have laid awake many night afraid to go to sleep for fear that I would not wake up or that something bad would happen to me. I have been so deep in despair that I thought at one time that I would have to be committed to a hospital. Is this ever going to stop?
Can anybody relate to me?
Is anybody else out there hurting and in need?
Oh thank the Lord that we have hope. The Lord has seen every tear and knows my hurt. He has not taken his eyes off of me. One of the biggest lies the enemy has tried to get me to believe is that God is not good and that he does not care. Oh how he cares. In the midst of hurt and pain, the Lord has so sweetly encouraged me. He has been ministering to me that He would put a new song in my heart. God is not a man that he should lie, however, it’s been hard to envision myself singing as I did in my youth. Even in it’s seemingly impossibility to me, I daily claim his promise.
How does God put a new song in my heart? I have to be intentional and I stay in a place of thanksgiving. When I am intentional about my state of mind, I find myself looking for things to be grateful for. I thank God for choosing me, for my friends, for my job, my family. I have even walked through my home and thanked him for lamps and other possessions. It may sound silly, but I am desperate to be positive. When I am in a place of thanksgiving, it’s hard for me to find fault or negativity in my current situation. God’s word says that if we keep our minds on Him, we will remain in perfect peace. Another way that I can get a new song in my heart is to magnify God in my life. It is proven that whatever you focus on will be made bigger in your life. When I make God bigger than my problem, I am operating in my faith and giving God power to help me overcome what I am currently going through. A lot of what I am learning is that my circumstances may not change, but God is interested in changing me. The truth is, God is bigger than my problem.
Lastly, I need to constantly be filling up. Daily, we have opportunities to be drained by the world. We have offenses that come our way, we are subject to devastating circumstances as well as we just give our energy daily. When we are not filled up spiritually we are subject to attacks and not able to withstand them as we should spiritually. When I am needing to be filled up, I put on praise music. I lock myself in my room or take a drive in my car and allow the music to put my day behind me and just worship God. I ask that he fills my soul with a fresh filling of his spirit and I just drink in his power and grace. I can also fill up with prayer and seeking God’s presence. There are many times in the bible where we see Jesus going off by himself and praying. It’s very important that we block out time from the world and just get alone with God. It’s in his presence that we find all that we need. If Jesus had to get away to be filled up, we have to do the same. Once I have spent that time with God, I feel refreshed. He says that rivers of living water will flow out of our bellies, and if we are not filled with his presence, we do not have capacity to stay strong nor help anyone else. This principle is also found in the new testament where we are to put on the full amour of God. Notice how the responsibility is put on us, not God. We have to put on his amour as if we are putting on our natural clothes every day. Without our clothing, we are naked and vulnerable.
I am just starting my journey to get a new song in my heart. I am not where I want to be, but grateful that I am empowered with hope knowing I will have what God has promised me. I do not know where you are in your life, but if you can identify with anything that I have shared, just know that God is no respecter of persons and what he does for one, he does for the other. Also, know that He loves you and has seen your hurt. He is not mad at you and do not let the enemy lie to you that He is not good or that he does not care. He does care and if you will take the necessary steps to get your own new song, he will fulfill his promise and one day soon you will be singing songs just as you did in your youth. God loves you and so do I.