Monthly Archives: March 2016

The gift of loss


Every good and perfect gift comes from above. James 1:17

Oh how loss can be an amazing gift. Wrapped in paper that is certainly not pretty, lacking is it’s matching ribbon and a large bow. In fact, when you have ripped off the paper and with anticipation believing that there must be a wonderful gift inside despite the wrapping. You are shocked, disappointed and in pain as you see what the giver has thought so much to give you. Who would give such a gift is what you think as tears flow down your face?

I recently heard a pastor say that the blessing is ready for you, but are you ready for the blessing?

Oh how that is so true! Here I have been trying to hurry God, help him out, as if he needs help, getting angry and finally threatening to give up. Getting us ready is a process and it cannot be mircrowaved. It takes time, more like a crock pot. We don’t like to wait and go through the process, but how much better prepared is the food that has had time to simmer and develop a flavor that is what one would crave. That is who you and I are supposed to be, the salt of the earth. We are to live a life for many witnesses to desire and crave.

At first, it’s not recognized as a gift. What is it and what does it look like?

A loved one with a terminal illness; Miscarriage; Getting let go from your job; Near fatal car accident; Having to file bankruptcy; Broken engagement; Legal separation; Being alone on the holidays; or Being deceived by a spiritual leader.

This amazing gift comes in many different circumstances and situations. I have received some of these amazing gifts. It has taken time, trust and maturity to appreciate them. These gifts have been part of my process preparing me for the blessings that God has promised me.

I may not immediately appreciate the gift but as time goes on and I trust God that every good and perfect gift comes from him I can get through the processes without delay and on time. If I don’t see something as a gift then I resent it and complain and I’m angry and it will take longer to reach my destination.

The power in a gift of loss is that once you lose something you learn to appreciate what has been lost. For instance I used to live in a really nice studio apartment and I just had to have it. I believe God gave me the desire of my heart. Three days before I moved in my car was towed right in front of my building. I complained constantly to my apartments that there was never enough parking and I did not know that before I moved in. I complained about my neighbors next to me because I lived next to a three bedroom apartment there was never less then five people living next to me and as you can imagine it was very loud. I complained that my dishwasher had to be fixed three times. I constantly complained about my apartment being either too cold or too hot – because it was a studio it didn’t have a heating or cooling unit large enough to support the square footage. I complained about much more. The bottom line is is that this apartment was so lovely and God gave it to me and I should have appreciated it and found solutions for everything that I saw wrong about it or I should’ve just chosen to see it for what it was that it was an amazing gift. I ended up losing that place and I felt like the reason why I lost it was because I cursed God indirectly because I constantly griped and complained about my home that was given to me. Let me tell you I will be so appreciative for my next home and I will not have the same attitude I had before. Again you don’t understand the value of something until you lose it.

I learned a great lesson with my apartment and God began showing me that I complained about everything. It seemed like I found something wrong with everything that was in my life and God began to show me that if he were to expand my ministry that I would complain perhaps about my schedule or about how tired I was I would find something wrong with it.

The true treasure of our losses is that we can’t take certain mindsets, habits and patterns into our future. If you’re praying for a new job, you cannot take your old work habits into the new position. If you’ve had a divorce or are legally separated or perhaps like me of had a broken engagement, we are all contributors in that loss, it’s just as much our fault as it is their fault and it’s not always what we did do sometimes it’s the things that we didn’t do. Through my experiences I have learned that no one is perfect and not every relationship is perfect and so when I decide to settle down and be with my life partner there are going to be things about that partner that will irritate me but I will choose to see them as a good gift from God and not complain about them not to look for the bad or the wrong or the difference in them. I will choose to celebrate them and be grateful for them.

I have also learned that if I look for something negative I will find it so I choose now to not even look for it, I intentionally choose to look for the positive. Whatever you focus on, you make bigger. That is how bitterness and resentment escalate is because you constantly think about how bad it is.

I have a parent with a very serious illness and while this is been devastating it has really opened my eyes and it is taught me what is most important in life. Sure it’s nice to have things like homes, cars, an important position with a particular company, however, I have learned that the most important things in life are God and the people that he puts in my life. Some people would only hope for a promotion while I’m just hoping my mother lives another day it’s all about perspective. Don’t misunderstand me there’s nothing wrong with wanting a promotion but those things have become secondary to me, life is more important.

Whether you have experienced loss that was within your control or out of your control nothing goes to waste and God will use it to benefit you…. you may not see it now, but in time you will.

God’s desire is for you to have everything in your life that he has planned for you and in order for you to have those things you have to go through your process. To navigate successfully through your process and getting the treasures and riches that God has in your journey while he is preparing you for your blessing you must have a paradigm shift. The first important step is to trust God and choose to see that whatever has happened or whatever is going on in your life that it is for your benefit and it’s a good gift. I now begin to say Lord I don’t understand, but I know that you’re good and that you have a good plan for me so help me see your beauty in this situation… God is so faithful he will begin to show you in time. Second you must take ownership and stop blaming others and definitely stop blaming God. Began to ask the questions that he loves to hear from us such as, what are the lessons here that you want me to learn? What was my part? Then ask for forgiveness and repent which means to completely change your mind about the past, see it for what it was, that it was either wrong or things could’ve been done differently such as better. This is how you get through your process and this is how you get ready for your blessing instead of expecting your blessing to get ready for you. You will live a much more fulfilling life if you choose to see everything in your life as a good and perfect gift.


Posted by on March 29, 2016 in Uncategorized