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Tag Archives: forgiveness

Reverse negative thinking !

Woo hoo Day 12 of my brain detox!

Transparency is sometimes difficult but as God has called me to stand on stage, for the sake of other people being healed my life is an open book.

I am working on five different fears but doing one at a time …

1. Fear in relationships

Lies I believed: men lie, cheat and leave

Cause & Effect: I do not feel safe
Division, loss

These lies became part of my reality as early as 10 years old by people I loved and trusted …..

The lies and belief system that I developed were based on actions of others affected the way I felt in relationships, it impacted the way that I saw myself and set my relationships up for failure.

Thank goodness for God and the way he created our brains, neuroscience reveals that we can literally reverse damage and create new defaults!

Several days ago, I asked God for the perfect scripture to stand on in building my new thought process ..

Galatians 4: so you are no longer a slave, but a son/daughter, God has made you an heir !

Today God revealed that the truth is we are all subject to be hurt or disappointed unintentionally. The difference for me today is that I don’t have to live in fear and I can believe the best in someone. IF I do get hurt I can trust God that I will recover and that he will work all things together for good.

I no longer have to be a slave to that fear, those thoughts, feeling unsafe.
What the enemy has meant for my harm and my destruction, the Lord will use for good.

Today I have a better chance of going into a relationship and feeling safe and allowing myself to experience true joy where my happiness was stolen in the past because of fear……

I have shared that I can POLL an audience and 99% have experienced fear, rejection and abandonment.

You can reverse the thoughts and triggers and emotions from those events and we can truly live out John 10, that Jesus has come that we may have life and have it more abundantly!

!

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Posted by on October 1, 2018 in Uncategorized

 

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Have you ever been hurt by a religious organization?

⚠️🚸 caution: you may get enlightened today 🤔

Have you ever been hurt by a religious organization or someone in the church?

I have …..

It’s one of the intersections of my life that I talk about in my ministry …..

This life event for my me was just like a divorce…..

I attended, invested in others, served, gave, others invested in me and was in leadership for 12 amazing years !!!

I was hurt beyond belief, angry and just like in divorce….. I lost a community of people who I thought were my friends!

This happened in 2014 and since then I have the hardest time walking through any church doors….. if I attend, I don’t get involved (just like dating), you don’t want to get too close to anyone for fear of being hurt.

I know that this is all from the enemy and I can see how others would hold a grudge against man or even blame God……

God is not the author of my hurt…..

If you have been hurt and wounded, I am here to say that I understand.

God does not care whether we go to church or not, we don’t go for him, we go for our benefit. The benefits of going to church is obviously to learn God’s word, to enter into corporate worship, to serve, and to align with people and become part of something bigger than who we are.

The enemy comes to create division because he knows that’s where our power is….with aligning with others and learning God’s word and getting to know his character.

And of course he would want to keep you from that…..

Today, I ask if you are like me, and you’ve been wounded, to forgive those who have hurt you, and if you believe God is the author of your hurt, to release forgiveness towards him today…… because he loves you!!

I know that I need continued healing in this area even as a born-again believer, called into ministry, gifted….daughter of God!!

I know that there is power and benefits in community….

Today, I am taking a step towards my healing and I’m gonna walk through some doors today!!!! 🙏👏🏻🖤⚔️➕

It may not be my church home, but I’m going to go and worship the Lord and I’m going to leave my hurt at the altar !!!!

 
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Posted by on October 1, 2018 in Uncategorized

 

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Forgiveness

Our Father, which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name. Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, As it is in heaven.  Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive them that trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, The power, and the glory, For ever and ever. Amen.

Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions  Matthew 11.25

 

A question was asked recently.  What things are you having a hard time giving to God?  I first wrote down a question mark.  I honestly thought to myself that I have given everything to Him.  I first met God at a cross roads of nearly committing suicide.  I was looking out my window thinking how I could kill myself and not survive.  My TV was on in the background and woman screamed at the top of her lungs ‘Nothing is impossible with God!’  That day I made a choice to believe in Him, I said to Him that I was not sure if He was real, but I had nothing to lose and everything to gain by believing in Him.  My life began to change and began to take on shape and for once in two years I had hope again.  I felt I walked very closely with God and He had so carefully walked me through trusting Him with my finances, with my future, my relationships, and my safety.  I thought I was good.  As I began to dig deeper with the question to myself,  I realized that the one thing that I had not given over was forgiving my parent who had hurt me for most of my life.  I had gotten to such a point that I could not bear to hear their voice.  One day I was struggling so bad that I prayed to God to show me them through His eyes.  When I prayed the prayer, I really did not know what to expect and I basically went about my business not giving it much thought.  It was 3 days later I had a vision and I saw my parent being surrounded by what looked to be pit bulls and they were growling at her and they were getting ready to attack her.  I knew that the symbolism was that they are surrounded by the enemy and I believe that they are powerless to the things that they say and do.  I believe it was the next day I got a download from God and this is what He gave me.  He said, ‘If your parent’s mother were to pass away today, your parent would never know what unconditional love is’.  I immediately broke down and cried – my heart was broken that my parent is close to 70 years old and all they know is rejection, abuse and anything other than love.  You see I have been part of a generational cycle that has come from my grandmother.  I am not certain what her mother or father had done to her.  My grandmother is still living and there is still time for God to do a miracle in their relationship.  My prayer for my parent is that they would know what unconditional love is.  Today I see my parent much differently.  It does not justify anything that has been done, however, I find it easier to forgive through my understanding and seeing them as God sees them.  I believe God’s heart is broken too.

 I know you have been hurt too and on this path to healing we must forgive those who have sinned against us if we want to experience the fullness of healing.  Perhaps like me the thought of forgiving someone seems impossible.  God is a God of love, mercy and forgiveness and He has forgiven you and I of much.  Forgiveness does necessarily let them off the hook, but it frees you.  Unforgiveness affects everything about you.  It affects decisions that you make, it will poison your relationships and even make your body physically sick.  I once read a quote from a doctor, ‘that most people could leave the hospital if they would forgive those they have hurt and those that have hurt them!’  Let’s decide not to allow them to affect us negatively or have any more destructive power in our lives and that begins with forgiveness.  I love you and I believe in you.

 
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Posted by on June 29, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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What am I doing?

For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate.  Romans 7:15

 I have recently gone through another broken engagement.  It was my choice because I felt that we were headed down different spiritual paths and felt that it would complicate things for us in the future.  Nonetheless I am still upset, but know I had made the right decision.  The biggest issue is that we work together.  I understand his feelings, but have a hard time dealing with his actions towards me.  I am seeing someone else and am getting flowers from this individual and I am certain that this has a lot to do with the dynamics at the office.  Most recently I noticed that we are no longer connections on a professional network site and it shocked me.  I realized that I had recommended him on this site for his customers, so I felt that if he did not want to be connected with me, then he would no longer need my recommendation.  As I was about to click ‘delete’ I felt the nudge of the Holy Spirit – don’t do it, you do not do as the world does.  I ignored the prompting of the spirit and instead of having peace, I had guilt for the rest of the day – in fact I had no peace.  There is a reason that our sin is seemingly like its under a microscope and everything is magnified…..it’s for us to be mindful of our actions and to have it marked as a place of remembrance that next time we make a different decision.  All day I battled with what I had done, I did the very thing that I did not want to do and I was grieved over it.  I woke up the next morning still thinking about it and praying for God to forgive me.  I began to cry and as I cried out to God, I prayed to be more sensitive to the spirit and to yield to his promptings and to make more decisions out of love rather than making decisions based on wounds and emotions.  I began to get very encouraged because I am going through a recovery process and this week we start doing inventory of our past…….I am so excited because I know the things that God will be purging from my past is going to give me a greater capacity for the things of him.  For instance, I am full of hurt and fear and when God removes those wounds, I will have more room for love and mercy.  My heart’s cry to Him is that my desire is to love.  For once, my desire is not for something that is material or tangible.  If my desire is to love, then that will affect any decision that I make, because it will be rooted in love and hopefully I will begin to do more of the things that I want to do rather than what I despise doing.  God’s word says in Psalms that God wants to give us the desires of our heart, but I believe it is Him who gives those desire to us so we become more like Him.

What things do you do that you do not want to do?  Be encouraged that Paul asks a question at the end of this chapter.  Who will set me free from this body of death?  Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!!!

 
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Posted by on June 6, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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