Individuals always ask me how to improve their EQ. I believe they think that my answers are going to a quick fix, simple adjustments, don’t use phrases such as these, etc. The truth is, it’s not a simple quick fix. To have lasting change in your life, you must submit to the process. Whether you are looking for a new title, earning more income or improving relationships, you can expect to invest a minimum of 6 months to see the manifestation of your EQ on the upswing.
It took me 10 painful years of hitting my invisible ceiling before I began to ask hard questions about myself — my invisible ceiling was capped income, premature tenure and missed opportunities. I was ready to be accountable. My life began to change when I said that it was no longer the fault of the economic situation of my company, ineffective leadership, holes in their marketing strategy, budget cuts to name a few. It was all me! When I asked the hard questions about myself, I did not like the answers. However, facing the pain of my truth was far more liberating than staying that way. Can you be held accountable? Do you get defensive and blame? The definition of accountable is ‘the expectation or justification of an action or decision’.
What is just ‘one’ way that I can improve my accountability? I need to surround myself with people who will tell me the truth. Most often we will keep the company of people who will not tell us the truth and enable our bad behavior, because people don’t like truth nor do they feel they need to change……because the blame belongs some place other than on us. Another reason why we need people to help us is because we all have blind spots and they help us to see things that we are in denial about. Do not adopt the patterns of this world or make them your own, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:1. It’s not enough for me to try to change my actions, I must first change the way that I think. Our dysfunctional behavior is like a fever, while you treat the fever, you must get to the root or infection. If I just treat the fever, I will not have lasting change, otherwise, I remain sick. You need to change the way that you think about something before you will see change in yourself. Surround yourself with people who will challenge to be better.
First, admit it starts with you, that you are exactly where you are and what you have, are a result of your decisions. Be ready to accept your responsibility and then ‘do’ change. My pastor coined an equation: think + be + do = have. If you don’t like what you have, then start with changing the way you think. There is so much to be said here and I do not have the time nor space. If you are serious about changing yourself or your team, please contact me.