Monthly Archives: June 2015

Accountability improves your EQ


Individuals always ask me how to improve their EQ. I believe they think that my answers are going to a quick fix, simple adjustments, don’t use phrases such as these, etc. The truth is, it’s not a simple quick fix. To have lasting change in your life, you must submit to the process. Whether you are looking for a new title, earning more income or improving relationships, you can expect to invest a minimum of 6 months to see the manifestation of your EQ on the upswing.

It took me 10 painful years of hitting my invisible ceiling before I began to ask hard questions about myself — my invisible ceiling was capped income, premature tenure and missed opportunities. I was ready to be accountable. My life began to change when I said that it was no longer the fault of the economic situation of my company, ineffective leadership, holes in their marketing strategy, budget cuts to name a few. It was all me! When I asked the hard questions about myself, I did not like the answers. However, facing the pain of my truth was far more liberating than staying that way. Can you be held accountable? Do you get defensive and blame? The definition of accountable is ‘the expectation or justification of an action or decision’.

What is just ‘one’ way that I can improve my accountability? I need to surround myself with people who will tell me the truth. Most often we will keep the company of people who will not tell us the truth and enable our bad behavior, because people don’t like truth nor do they feel they need to change……because the blame belongs some place other than on us. Another reason why we need people to help us is because we all have blind spots and they help us to see things that we are in denial about. Do not adopt the patterns of this world or make them your own, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:1. It’s not enough for me to try to change my actions, I must first change the way that I think. Our dysfunctional behavior is like a fever, while you treat the fever, you must get to the root or infection. If I just treat the fever, I will not have lasting change, otherwise, I remain sick. You need to change the way that you think about something before you will see change in yourself. Surround yourself with people who will challenge to be better.
First, admit it starts with you, that you are exactly where you are and what you have, are a result of your decisions. Be ready to accept your responsibility and then ‘do’ change. My pastor coined an equation: think + be + do = have. If you don’t like what you have, then start with changing the way you think. There is so much to be said here and I do not have the time nor space. If you are serious about changing yourself or your team, please contact me.

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Posted by on June 24, 2015 in Uncategorized


Improving your EQ promotes transformation


One of the many facets of my mission statement is to bring about transformation in lives and there is nothing more rewarding to me. One definition of transformation is ‘a thorough and dramatic change in form or appearance’ another is ‘the metamorphosis during the life cycle of an animal’. In order to have thorough or dramatic transformation you must change from the inside out. That is why I chose the image of the butterfly. This is not a feel good or bling girl cute message, however there is a supernatural correlation that I want to illustrate from the butterfly as it relates to lasting change in your life. The butterfly was once a caterpillar or a worm if you will. At the right moment it knows to find a safe place and begin to spin and secure itself in a cocoon. It’s in that dark and alone place where a miracle is being revealed. A caterpillar’s insides are literally reduced down to liquid. In order for the change from a caterpillar to a butterfly to take place within the pupa, the caterpillar begins releasing enzymes that literally digest nearly all of its own body. What’s left inside the chrysalis is mostly just a very nutrient rich soup from which the butterfly will begin to form. This is called in the greek – metamorphoo where we get the word metamorphosis.

If you are serious about your personal growth and development and you want thorough and dramatic transformation in your life, you have to change from the inside and what you want to change on the outside will change for the better. The first thing you need to do is make a decision and be open for change in your life and know it starts with you and you alone — it’s not about anyone else needing to change. We need to know ourselves and make intentional choices in order to grow. There is NO growth without change, there is no change without loss, there is no loss without pain. As the butterfly, you need to metaphorically digest and liquefy the wounds, hurts, mindsets and traditions of your past. If you are going to grow, you will have to change, and change means letting go of some old things in order to take hold of the new. I truly live by doing my best to eliminate insanity in my life — doing something different so I can achieve different results.

I want to be able to help people improve their EQ so they can have transformation in their lives so that not only is there change in their life, but everything around them begins to change. It starts with you.

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Posted by on June 15, 2015 in Uncategorized