Monthly Archives: October 2012

Don’t hold on

Do not call to mind or remember the former things (past), see I am doing a new thing.  Isaiah 43

I wanted a specific car since the mid 90s.  The car was very expensive so I just gave up on the idea of ever owning one.  In the 2000s they made a less expensive version and I began to hope again to own that car.  At the time I was currently leasing a very nice car and my lease was almost up.  I knew that once I turned my car in that I was going to get what I had wanted for years.  The day came and I got my dream, I still had 2 months left on my lease.  Instead of turning the car early, I kept it for 2 months in my company’s garage.  Even though i finally got the car of my dreams I could not let go of my car.   I began to get sad when I thought of getting rid of it and would drive it a lot to keep the battery charged ….I was very emotionally attached to it.  God spoke to me about the emotional attachment and began to show me it s a picture of how we hold onto experiences, words and losses.  We hold on and continually look at life through our rear view mirror and we stay stuck and do not move forward.

What are you holding on to that could be keeping you stuck.  Perhaps it is something someone said to you that hurt you.  Maybe a divorce or broken relationship.  Perhaps you spent years building a company only to lose it.  Maybe you have filed for bankruptcy and long for the lifestyle you once had.  What if you have always been healthy and active and now you have been suffering with a chronic illness.  What about aging – you are constantly wishing you were younger and find it hard to make peace with your looks changing.  You find it difficult that you are not as thin as you used to be.

God does not want us to look in the rear view mirror in life because he says he is doing a new thing and if you keep looking backward its hard to receive anything new God wants to bring in your life.  Once I turned my car in, I was finally able to enjoy the new car.  With God all things are possible and he can give you a new business or replace all that was lost in a bankruptcy, bring a new relationship or restore one that is broken.  Your future is bright and God has a good plan for your life – trust him today and watch things turn around in your favor.

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Posted by on October 25, 2012 in Uncategorized


Choose to obey

Samuel said, has the Lord a great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices or in obeying the voice of the Lord?  Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice.  1Samuel 15

I purchased a car for a long time boyfriend / friend.  I purchased the car because I believed that we would be married and it would our car.  We did not marry and for about 8 months after we split I took the car back.  During this time we had a lot of conflict and he proved himself to be irresponsible and ungrateful as it related to the car.  I had many many friends tell me I should take the car but I did not want to.  One night I went to a new church and the pastor spoke over me and said that God wanted to remove a soul tie because there is abuse there.  I knew he was talking about the car – the car kept us tied together.  I prayed and told God I would take the car back.  I knew what impact this would have on my credit by having a voluntary repossession.  I literally told God that I would obey him at the cost of my credit being ruined and that nothing was impossible with Him.  The scary thing for me was that my vehicle was leased and my lease was ending and I was not sure what to do.  I weighed my options and I decided to refinance my car and I was able to keep it knowing I had no other option with my bruised credit unless I put down a significant amount of money and having a high interest rate.  Earlier this year I started to repair my credit.  God had given me a vision shortly after I took the car back and it was a red camero.  Recently I felt it was time to move forward to look at another car because my car had been in the shop 3 times in the last 6 months.  I showed up at a dealership and God gave me a salesman who was a believer and he prayed for me.  Long story short they ran my credit and my score was up to where it was several years ago and the repossession did not show up!!  That could only be God because it was reported as a charge off on my credit – I saw it!  Today I drive a red camero – it is what God showed me a year and a half ago.  Even though I should have never bought that car – by obeying God even in my mistake – I honored him and obeyed at a cost and He has done the impossible.

What areas are you being rebellious?  What decision do you need to make in order to obey God?  When we make a decision to obey it may not always gratify the flesh, but the reward is far more greater.  Make a decision to obey and see what God will do on your behalf.




Posted by on October 24, 2012 in Uncategorized


Don’t be like the others

I will give praise to you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Psalm 139

I knew that I could not accept compliments and I did not like my picture taken but did not think much about it.  I discovered in recovery I was a self loather.  I literally wanted to surgically alter my appearance from the top of my head and everything in between and down to my feet.  I wanted to make myself fit into my image.  I was insecure and someone I cared deeply for at one time wanted me to darken my hair, have super white teeth and he wanted me to have a tan.  That bothered me and only fueled my insecurity and I did not feel accepted by this person.  I knew this was his “type”.  I am glad today that I never pleased him.  David writes in our Psalm that we are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Fearfully and wonderfully  in Hebrew mean awesome and distinct.  I do not think it is acceptable for anyone to try and change another.  There is nothing wrong with changing your hair color and laying out in the sun, it’s the motive behind it.  The message is you must look like this for me to be attracted to you or to accept you.  We should never feel the need to fit into someone’s type or be a carbon copy of everyone in their past.  I am glad I did not look like all the others because I, as well as you, were created with our own awesomeness and our own God given distinction according to Psalm 139.

How did I find healing and acceptance? It started with my feet.  That’s right my feet.  God kept leading me to Isaiah 52 – how lovely on the mountains are the feet of him who bring the good news.  I hated my feet but realized that my feet carried the good news and I began to embrace my feet by believing that if my feet had a purpose to carry the good news and God says they are lovely – then my feet had a unique purpose and their shape was unique on purpose .  Just by starting to embrace my feet, I began to accept all of me.   Now I get to encourage those who have confidence and identity issues!  The same is true for you – you are awesome and distinct on purpose and someone will see you through the eyes of God and accept you – but you must first accept yourself.  I am grateful that I am not like the others.  :))))

Pray with me:  Heavenly Father thank you that you made me awesome and distinct and that you formed me in my mother’s womb and you are satisfied.  Help me to overcome the obstacles that have kept me from seeing myself through your eyes and seeing myself as valuable.  Help me to forgive those who have not treasured my value.  My hope and confidence comes from you only.  In Jesus name. Amen.

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Posted by on October 11, 2012 in Uncategorized


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High Octane Ping

Therefore confess one to another and pray for one another so that you may be healed.  The effective prayer of a righteous man accomplish much.  James 5:16

The high octane ping was our topic of discussion last week.  What is it exactly?  It’s the sting, sick feeling or anger that you instantly feel at just the mere mention of someone’s name.  We have all experienced that at one time or other.  How relevant of a topic for me.  Let me outline my last week.  I received over 200 bibles, 20 Christian books and 32 celebrate recovery books that I will be presenting to a prison this week.  I started a 40 day fast.  I had the privilege to lead my 84 year old grandmother to the Lord on her death bed.  Began filing for my 501c3 and interviewed a grant writer.  I had an amazing and blessed week and naturally I could expect an attack from the enemy!  Indeed I received…….I was driving down the road minding my own business and noticed my ex’s girlfriend.  The next day I got an email from my blog and as I was reading the email I was trying to figure out where it was leading and then I thought it was friend playing a joke on me.  I was shocked that it was from her and I was being accused of cutting her off and she threatened to follow me to my destination the next time I did that!  I was stunned because for this reason I purposely tried to go unnoticed.  This was the icing on the cake for me because all this did was bring up most recent harassment from my ex.

I realized I had gotten this scripture in James twice last week.  The Lord knows that a root of bitterness was being harbored which leads to unforgiveness.  I knew the Lord wanted me to share my frustration with my group so I can begin the healing process according to James.

Do you experience that high octane ping?  Here are a few indicators.

Do you intentionally avoid him/her?  Does the mention of his/her name leave a bitter taste in your mouth?  Does the thought of him/her make you have a sick bitter stomach?  Do you secretly want misfortune for that person?  Do you have mental arguments with that person?  If so, you could have a root of bitterness.

What is the cure?  Confess your bitterness to God and  someone close to you and ask for prayer and healing before it leads into anger.  Forgiveness is for yourself not for the other person because our bitterness affects us — it is linked to hypertension, insomnia and indigestion to name a few.  Forgiveness does not excuse what has happened, it frees you and allows you to move forward.  Lastly, trust God to vindicate you – the word says that He is a God of justice.  I have seen it happen time and time again when I am falsely accused or been on the receiving end of an injustice – the same thing happens to our accuser because God wants them to know how they made us feel and it typically brings a repentance.

I pray you find forgiveness and are able to move forward.  God loves you!

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Posted by on October 3, 2012 in Uncategorized