Monthly Archives: December 2010

You are not meant for containment

And the Lord was with Joseph, and he became a prosperous man.  Genesis 39:2

In studying the life of Joseph, he was the youngest of his brothers and he was favored by his father.  Once he had a vision from the Lord that his brothers would bow down to him and he told his brothers this dream and it caused great jealousy and envy, Joseph’s trials began.   He was first taken by his brothers to be killed, but rather sold into slavery.  He ends up in Potiphar’s house.  His master could see that the Lord was with him and gave him favor.  Because he was handsome, Potiphar’s wife wanted Joseph, but he refused saying “There is no one greater in this house than I, and he has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do this great evil and sin against God?”  Because of his refusal, she accused him of rape and ended up in jail.  Here again, we see that the Lord is with Joseph and gave him favor with the jailer.  Joseph lost years being a slave and in jail and yet we see that the Lord was with Joseph.  If the Lord was with Joseph, how could he lose his life for years and yet the Lord said he was a prosperous man??  Years later Joseph would interpret a dream and become second in command of all of Egypt.  A famine had come on the land and all had heard there was grain in Egypt.  As God would have it, the brothers approached Joseph to buy grain and they did not recognize him.  When Joseph revealed his identity to them, they bowed down to him just as he dreamt and they were afraid that he would kill them.  Joseph could kill his brothers, he could be holding onto the offenses of his brothers by being unfairly sold into slavery.  Joseph responded in grace to his brothers, ‘what you meant for harm, the Lord has meant for good’.  Everything that Joseph had been through brought him to be second in command in all of Egypt.  I feel like Joseph because of a lifetime struggle, I once again found myself in a battle to destroy my identity……I was alone on Christmas and I was not enjoying turkey and ham, but rather Starbucks, I did not have gifts and enjoyed childhood stories, but layed in bed watching pride and prejudice.  One thing I know, is that the Lord was with me.  He knew what I was thinking and what I was feeling, I was not worthy to be a vessel for him.  I was so broken and I woke up the next morning and went to a church that I had never been to with a friend, I was called out of the crowd by a prophet…..and they began to describe my life of battles with the world and that the Lord has called me and it is not in vain and that all the perils that I found would be used to help those with the same battles.  I cried, it was God’s loving way of reaching down and wrapping his arms around me.  Over the next week, I was so angry and I was rising up in my entitlement of innocence and I realized that I am acting out and everything is getting on my nerves.  I realized driving one day that this was really getting to me and that was why everything was making me angy.  I began to weep and at that moment nothing seemed to matter except for pleasing God.  Who cares if I get an apology, who cares if I get them to admit that they are wrong???  What does all that matter at the end of the day except that I am losing my peace and when I get my apology am I really going to feel better??  I found that seeking diligently for my peace in God is greater than trying to find my peace through man or woman.  I have found that God is more interested in changing something in us, rather than in somone else.  Like Joseph, God has always been with me, and what the enemy has meant for my harm, God has intended it for good……He is going to use the battles that have been fought to be won for someone else.  Let’s extend the arms of God knowing that He is with us and let’s seek after our peace by trusting in Him and letting go of offenses even when we have been unfairly treated.  We may not be second in command of a nation, but with a attitude yielded to God, we can go places and do things that we could never dream.  The containment of our offenses will hold us back and keep us stuck in our emotional prison…..rise up because you are not meant to be contained in your hurts, but you are free to release yourself and your offender.

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Posted by on December 30, 2010 in Uncategorized


A divine shaking

And His voice shook the earth then, but now He has promised, saying, “YET ONCE MORE I WILL SHAKE NOT ONLY THE EARTH, BUT ALSO THE HEAVEN.”

This expression, “Yet once more,” denotes the removing of those things which can be shaken, as of created things, so that those things which cannot be shaken may remain.  Hebrews 12:26-27

I was with a friend of mine the other day and she was telling me that her and her husband had a rough week and that her husband’s job had been on the line.  I was shocked because I had no idea because she seemed at peace that week especially since it was the week before Christmas.  She told me that he had compromised his positition and they would let him know their decision at the end of the week.  I know this gentleman and I was thinking what could he have done or what kind of decision could he make to compromise this job????  She said that he had a promblem with alcohol, that he did not drink all the time, but when he does, he cannot stop and that he gets very aggressive and borderline abusive.  Not the guy I know!!??  This is something that she found after they married and because of situations that came about she would become very critical of him and she would confront him about his aggression and he was in complete denial about it and basically blamed it on her critical spirit.  My friend’s husband was in a high level position and used to travel some and of course entertained his employees and it always involved alcohol.  Everything came to a head during the holidays when they were out with his boss.  Of course most everyone was drinking and as the night grew longer, my friend’s husband started becoming very abusive.  His behavior shocked his boss because he was seeing a side of him that he had not known.  My friend’s husband began to disrespect her and became increasingly more aggressive and had began to start choking her in front of his boss.  When the evening ended, she was very upset understandably and in her entitlement began the threats and criticism.  How dare you do this, you have a daughter, you are tearing down our family.  His justification was I am a good provider, I am a good father and a good husband……he was in denial.  At this same time, it was also discovered that on a recent trip that he was entertaining with alcohol and somehow a minor was involved with one of his employees and word got back to the company and became an HR issue.  His job was on the line and his boss said that they would make a decision by the end of the week.  That week something happened, God’s grace abounded and what would be normal for them in this battle was turned upside down.  God asked her who was she more mad at,  her husband or herself?  She pondered the question and realized that she needed to take responsibility for her actions and HONOR her husband rather than tear him down.  In the natural that does not make sense, she was embarrassed, abused and had entitlement for her feelings.  God had another plan, He wanted my friend off the throne so that he could work.  That week she extened the grace and mercy of God and when he got into self doubt and began to call himself a hypocrite and that he did not deserve to even be in his leadership position at church, afterall they had just received a new level position, she built him up and fought the lies with her husband.  That week they prayed together and their prayers were not to keep his job, but for clarity and for God’s purpose and will in that situation.  My friend’s husband had an amazing revelation, he realized that his actions are out of control and that he never wanted to do anything to jeopardize his family and he wants to be a father and husband that would bring glory and honor to God.  Friday of that week he went into work and was told that he did not lose his job, but rather demoted, there was a celebration in their family and praising God that he is still employed!!!  God wanted to bring divine correction in his life and his ways are higher……what God was doing was using situations to bring things to the surface, a kind of shaking, so that when the shaking stopped, the things that could not be shaken remained, and those are the things of God.  I have gone through something similar where it looks like Hell is coming against you and technically it is, but God is shaking up things in our life that cannot go into our future.  Don’t get frustrated and in fear….let God shake those things in your life, so that way when the shaking stops, you will find more of Him in your life and less of those things that have hindered you, affected your decisions and actions and even caused loss in your life.    He loves you!

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Posted by on December 21, 2010 in Uncategorized


He is with you

Behold I am with you and I will keep you wherever you go, and I will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised.  Genesis 28:15

I remember the first time I got this scripture, I was running into my home after work and I was crying hysterically.  My then fiance had left me and called off everything two months before we were to be married.  I ran immediately and grabbed my bible and this was what the Lord gave me.  Through my tears, I could barely see, and I remember asking God, “what do you mean that you are going to do what you promised”?  What just happened and what you promised me are two different things.  Through a long story made short, I had met my fiance in 2004 and we broke up and afterwards the Lord began to speak to me phophetically that He was raising it from the dead, that it was not over, and correlated our story to Lazarus.  He also said that He was moving him to Dallas.  Four years later, God brought to pass everything that He had said.  We began moving forward believing that God divinely knitted us together as life partners.  We began preparing for a wedding and I have a half written book called the Lazarus Effect.  Now he is gone.  It is nearly one year since and the past year has been one of life transforming for me.  I have cried a bucket full of tears and at one time was even mad at God to the point that I told Him that I would not consult Him for anything in my life and I even put up my bible for a brief time.  Thank goodness that God was merciful to my pain, His intent was to use my breaking to eventually draw closer to Him.  As I began to draw closer to Him, I grew to find who I was in Him and was healed of many childhood wounds.   The past year has been one of hurt, anger and confusion which has turned into trust, contentment and peace.  I often refer to my breaking as a meat tenderizer because I have a deeper compassion that I have never had and I believe the things that break God’s heart now break mine!  For once, I have no idea what God has planned for me, if He chooses to raise Lazarus again and He finishes the story OR if He has chosen someone else for me, I am totally alright with either because I know that He has a good plan for me.   I don’t know if you are broken or are confused and mad at God.  Please take comfort that God is with you and He will not leave you.  You may not know what God has promised you, but know this one thing, He loves you!  All things are possible for those who believe and by making a decision in your confusion to trust Him, He will make your crooked path straight, illuminate what is dark so you can see, reverse what is impossible to possible and restore back joy where there was once pain!  I love you and God bless you !

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Posted by on December 15, 2010 in Uncategorized